It is not easy to find out who a man truly is beneath everything he lets you see and often pretends to be. But you can learn many things about a man by agreeing to join him for a meal: brunch, lunch, or dinner. It doesn’t really matter.
The first important lesson for women who are trying to find ‘The One’ is to learn to listen, hear, and to see clearly. Just like I tell my yoga students, I tell women who are actively dating that the most important thing is to listen and watch carefully and attentively. When it comes to dating it requires for most women to be willing to take off their rose colored glasses. When trying to find ‘The One’ a rosy retrospective isn’t useful at all, instead it will mislead you and most likely lead to a broken heart. When dating it is important to be very realistic, alert, and guided by clarity. It is also important to remove the false freedom gained through feminism which has women not really advanced much when it comes to their relationships with men. A conservative point of view is most beneficial when it comes to finding a life partner. Forget about everything else you have heard, because it is NOT OK to split the bill or have the woman pay no matter how broke the man is. If you are important to him he will find the cash to take you out. Don’t forget, he gets to spend time with the wonderful you and will be invigorated by your charm, pheromones, and female magnetism.
But there are other signs and signals you need to learn to read. The way he greets you before you enter the restaurant. Or did he already take his seat in the restaurant without waiting for you upfront? How generous is he, does he judge you by what you order, does he tell you how much you should eat? Does he ask you how hungry you are (it’s like asking me what a lap dance entitles — how the hell can you answer that question, plus it’s none of his business), does he criticize your choices? Does he tell you you are ordering too much or does he tell you you are not ordering enough? Is he generous, only wants to spend the minimum, or is he really cheap. Does he expect you to chip in, or pay for your own meal or his meal as well? What conversations does he pick during the meal? Does he contradict himself — most men do at some point? And if yes on what accounts? Which restaurant has he picked? Unhealthy, fattening food or healthy, evolved food (like a organic, vegan place)? You learn by watching his choices and listening to him much more than if you are busy talking — which is one of the biggest problems many women have. They talk too much and miss out on catching the important, early warning signs. Date dinner date with a man will tell you much about him, how he values himself and his health, how evolved he is, and how much he values you.
Last but not least you don’t just learn about him from if he pays but also with what he pays. Watch out for Mr. Trickster who will be very generous but will use his business card to either write off your meal with him or even better charge it to his employer.
And don ‘t let your first dinner out with him trick you. On the first date most men still put a lot of effort into you. Let him think the cat is caught and watch how his behavior changes. And don’t forget, kissing on the first date is out! No tongue, no kissy kiss. And if he tries … next … this guy thinks he’s on the speed train to your bedroom and that is a clear signal that he’s not ‘The One.’ You want to make sure your guy is in it for the long run even without potential sex. With that your choices will narrow quickly but your disappointments will also stay at a minimum.
And don’t forget, you don’t have to eat everything he orders for you nor do you need to eat food at a place you don’t like. Sometimes, it’s better to leave hungry than eat some shit!
Or watch http://vimeo.com/59749732
Or click on https://www.amazon.com/author/aajones