Men as well as women confess to me all the time, that once they are with their partner for some time, the desire for sex with that same partner starts fading. The issue seems to be even worse once the couple has moved in with each other or even took the extra step to get married.
I recently read a study conducted by Dr. Dietrich Klusmann from Universitaetsklinikum Hamburg-Eppendorf that confirms that after one year in a relationship the frequency of intercourse drops drastically. The study also reports that if women didn’t want to have sex the couple would not go through with intercourse, yet, that if men weren’t in the mood most of the times it would still come to intercourse. Interesting huh? But anyway, I don’t want to report the details about this interesting study, I actually want to tell you what I have found out about this subject listening and talking to many men and women.
Apparently, it seems to me that living together can be the biggest turn off altogether. Well, it’s not easy to see your partner at its worst, and I think most men and women get so comfortable around each other, they turn into human piglets and behave like cro magnon. Not a big turn on to see your man launching with stinky feet and greasy hair on the couch while drinking a beer and watching football after he just took a dump in the toilet without removing the brown bacon stripes of his toilet visit.
While he’s probably not looking forward to her morning breath and sweatpants, since he knew her when dating, only in sexy lingerie and cute outfits. But I do discover that men aren’t as picky as women are. Cro Magnon again. Men’s tolerance for piggy behavior seems to be much higher than women’s tolerance.
If you ask me, in my ideal world, I would like to date the man of my dreams for the rest of my life. Because when you date someone you get the best part of them, but when you live with someone, you actually get the worst part of them. Your partner comes home exhausted and upset at the end of a tiring work day, while at home a nagging wife awaits him because the kids were misbehaving and she had to change diapers all day long. Everybody is wearing their nerves thin, and there is no time to take a moment to yourself to even just take a breath. The effort to be at your best goes down or maybe it is impossible to maintain to be at your best in sickness as in health, in good times and in bad times, till death do you part.
A lot of my friends accuse me that I want to live in a fantasy world forever and refuse to get to know my partner and who he really is, and with that I will miss out on real closeness. That might be true, but I prefer to get only the best side of my partner and offer him the same, my best side. I feel, only if I am at my best and centered, will I be able to offer my best even when challenges arrive. And having time to myself is a very important part for me to be at my best and stay true to myself.
After all, even the queen and kings lived in separate palaces or sections of the palace.
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