Archive for December, 2012


Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , on December 31, 2012 by tiltdiary

Relationships should be symbiotic, right? Or maybe they are more like a bank account?

When I allow a person into my inner circle of friends I usually start them on a high allowance of let’s say $1,000,000 in their relationship account. They can do with their allowance whatever they want, and most people take full advantage of it, since I give so freely. Very few chosen ones even get the benefit of overdraw protection with me. But those are just a few people, that have a very special place in my heart. They all start withdrawing. Most people don’t understand that in order to keep a relationship bank account alive you cannot only withdraw, you have to also deposit, at least once in a while. Once the account is depleted, there is not much left to do or say, unless an unexpected deposit comes in.

I don’t mean this in a materialistic way. Of course, when you love someone and care for them you like to surprise them once in a while with a materialistic gift, just to set a lasting memory. But I am talking mostly about emotional giving and taking. Once you have depleted me, sucked me dry, taken my advice over and over again without once asking how I was doing … you are most likely facing bankruptcy.


Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , , , on December 30, 2012 by tiltdiary

Men can get obsessed with you. Some of them will lose everything to be close to the stripper that they have fallen for. I have had men literally go crazy over me. But it is the dancer’s responsibility to lift the veil of seduction when it is enough. I believe, I play very fair, and I usually put the break on an obsession way before it gets dangerous. My desire for good karma outweighs my hunger for money. I could never live with the fact that I destroyed a man’s life just because he was longing for me insanely. I know when I need to let reality drizzle in and tell him, “Look, I will never ever meet you outside of the club. This is all I can offer.”

My stripper colleagues admit that they cannot let a man go if the money is just too good. They justify that they need the money and that they give the guy enough attention in the club. After all, this is their job. Yet, they don’t want to admit that the guy is only there because he hopes to see them outside of the club. He is strangely in love with the fantasy of the stripper. Greed once more will destroy. I hate greedy people! I rather make less money but have a clear conscious.


Posted in Jones' wisdom on December 29, 2012 by tiltdiary

IMG262I have this little Coonhound “Mickey”, and since I rescued him he was always terrified of driving in the car. His anxiety would lead to severe diarrhea, and he would always throw up from fear. As an animal trainer I know how to desensitize a dog and help him overcome his fear with positive reinforcement, repeated training effort, and lots of patience. I also thought my other four dogs who love to ride in the car would eventually rub up on him and teach him to get used to the car. But with Mickey nothing ever helped. I finally just gave in and accepted that he is motion sick and doesn’t like cars. So, I would prep my car to make sure if he would throw up it would be an easy clean up, and I just started to take him along on hikes in the mountains with the rest of the pack. It didn’t take long for Mickey to recognize the fresh mountain air and all the wild life smells when I would crack the car window open. And one day when I was driving up the hill to reach my mountain destination, I saw Mickey squeeze his sensitive Coonhound nose through the crack of the car window, his body started shaking (not from fear but from excitement), his tucked tail went up, and then, deep from the bottom of his lungs, he started baying the deepest bay I had ever heard from a hound. Mickey had forgotten about the car ride, because driven by his instinct all he could think about was the hunt he was about to be taken on. Ever since, Mickey bays when he smells the mountains coming closer. His instinct always wins over his fear.

I believe love and passion are emotions that origin from our instinct. I know love paired with passion will always win, because it is the strongest force in the universe. However, if you love in fear, it’s not going to work. Never underestimate passion!


Posted in Customers on December 28, 2012 by tiltdiary

One of my dear customers told me, “You know Jones, the only reason why we are not dating is because you are too busy with your jobs and your life. But it doesn’t have to be that difficult.” I know, he is very interested in me and would like to try to have a relationship with me. I answered honestly, “That is not entirely true. The reason why we are not dating is because I don’t want to. Because I don’t want to depend on anybody. It’s always too complicated.” I don’t think he understood what I meant and heard what I was trying to tell him. He is a rich man, and he would be able to financially support me.

Interestingly enough this is what I never looked for. My goal in life was always to support myself and be independent. I never judged people by how much money they made or assessed men by how good they could support me. I always wanted to be able to take care of myself and have a free choice in love and friendship no matter what the person was doing for living. And I guess, deep down inside of me, something still believes in true love. Where all the outside circumstances don’t matter. Where you see exactly who the person is that you love, but still, you love them no matter what. Because love doesn’t rationalize or judge, or ever goes away.


Posted in Stripper Secrets on December 27, 2012 by tiltdiary

All I ever wanted was a true partnership with this one special person. But it was never like that. In my life I always have to be there when I fit other people’s schedule, when they need me, or when they feel like spending time with me, talking to me, or when they need me to cheer them up, or help them figure out how to solve their problems. Even when I was a little girl, I had to do the things my sister wanted to do. Of course, the rebel in me found a way around this, and I became a master living a double life. With my Mr. Husband it was also always on his terms. He got up on the weekends when he wanted to, usually around one or two in the afternoon. I had most of the time already had breakfast and lunch by myself, just waiting for him to want to spend time with me. I didn’t get lucky very often. There were always more important things to do, like working in the yard, watching football … I tried everything to find time together, but it mostly never worked out. I got used to it and build my life with my dogs.

Most of my friends are the same. I am suppose to be there for them when it fits their needs. They come and go on their terms, just like my customers in the club. My customers adore me, but in the end they show up and ask me for my company and service when it fits their schedule and needs. I have no rights to demand anything, and I don’t.

I believe my flexibility and the art of juggling many things at the same time is a unique quality I master. Yet, having such a quality shouldn’t be the permit for others to abuse it. Did anybody ever think, I might maybe sometimes need somebody to be there for me too?


Posted in Jones' wisdom on December 26, 2012 by tiltdiary

I pass a close by park on my daily morning walk with my pack of dogs. Soon, very soon, now that Christmas is over the parking lot of this park will fill up with Christmas trees that people don’t want anymore. It becomes the annual Christmas tree cemetery. It makes me really sad. After all, trees have feelings too, and how can you just cut something off at the roots to cherish it for a few weeks in your living room and even take pride in it because you could afford a bigger and better Christmas tree than your friends or neighbors did, and then, when you had enough of it you just dump it.

Sometimes customers dump girls like that too, or they exchange them for another. Maybe it’s human nature to cherish something for a little while and then, if it doesn’t fit your life anymore, you just dispose it. It’s cruel, very cruel, but I guess human species is a cruel one, since we can justify with logic and push all emotions aside.


Posted in Family Events & Celebrations on December 25, 2012 by tiltdiary

photo.JPG ~1.Christmas at my house in Europe was always about family, traditional Croatian meals and delicious, home made cookies, and spending time with your loved ones. Today my family is far away. We live in completely different worlds. My family only knows about the part of my life that includes my bare feet in the yoga room, my dusty riding boots, and hiking shoes. They have no idea that I walk through a big part of my life in eight inch stilettos. And Oh God am I glad that they do not have to know about this side of me. I have been judged by people, always been judged and it’s OK. But I am glad that I am not judged by the ones that I love the most, at least when it comes to the eight inch stiletto part of my life. I am glad I can spare them and me the thoughts, shame, and criticism if they would know…

Although, I am very sad today and on all Holidays that I cannot spend them with my closest family, I am also thankful that I have the freedom to be who I really am. Because my riding boots, dog hiking shoes, my cold, little bare feet, and my beautiful, heavy eight inch stilettos made me, define me, and that is who I am. The experiences have been tough and beautiful, and the lessons and knowledge I have accumulated have been priceless, and I am only excited that I can continue my journey in all aspects of my life. So thank you for the best gift ever: The freedom to choose how I want to live and which shoes I want to wear.