Archive for the Customers Category

SELF-DISCOVERY THROUGH THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , on August 19, 2017 by tiltdiary

He wondered if I was into girls. I explained, “Although, I am completely heterosexual, I still think the female form is mesmerizing and and magical. I do like to look at girls too, how they move and perform. We are all visual.” What shot out of his mouth without any hesitation surprised me, “You are not visual at all. You are all energy. You read people first before you see their physical appearance.” I was astonished by how quickly he had read me. And with that he made me realize something about myself I had not been completely aware of. A self-discovery through a customer. The strip club brings many realizations, important lessons, reveals the truth, and offers more than just opportunities to discover yourself.

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TRENDING BROKEN ATM AT THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , on August 12, 2017 by tiltdiary

I saw him fiddling at the ATM. When he returned he delivered this endless explanation how he couldn’t get money out of the ATM, how he belonged to this family owned bank in Indiana, and how our ATM was broken. Blah. Any time a person delivers a too long explanation my red flag goes up. Then him, “Well, I can’t do dances since the ATM is broken, but how much for you to go back to the hotel with me.” Me, “I thought, you are broke?” Him, “Well, I’ll get money from another ATM. How much?” Me just thinking, I bet the other ATM is broken too. In fact, tonight all ATMs are broken. Me as I walk away, “Don’t come without cash to the strip club. It’ll just be a fail and disappointment for all parties involved.”
I walk up to this African American guy who was eyeballing me all night. Me, “Hey, want a private dance before the bar shuts down?” Him, “I got you baby. Let me get some money for you.” He fiddles at the ATM and comes back defeated, “The ATM is broken. I can’t get money out, but come sit with me and talk to me.” AAAAhhhhhhh I don’t want to talk. Private dance or nothin.
My manager happens to step onto the club floor. I ask him, “Is something wrong with the ATM?” Him, “No, the ATM is fine. I would know if it’s broken. Why?” Me without even being appalled or surprised, “Eh, these two guys claimed the ATM is broken. They are just lying.” My manager, “Yes, they are lying.” There was no surprise from both of us. I think if they would’ve told the truth we would’ve been rather surprised.
I still don’t understand why adults punish their kids when they lie. Seems like they should reward them. Now a days, everybody lies but most people suck at it. Why ask from kids what adults aren’t willing to do themselves?

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BUILDING UP TO A LAP DANCE

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , on August 8, 2017 by tiltdiary

I see a scraggly, thin, mosquito man with greasy, curly hair ordering a drink at the bar. I know instinctively I should not miss talking to him before my shift ends in about less than 15 minutes. So I introduce myself to this fella and see what he has to say. He’s a chatty one. But chatty in the way that I can tell he has learned what to say in order to masque his social ineptness. He’s definitely ass burgers (this is not a typo, I truly wrote ass burgers and mean it, and I might later define this type to you in detail)! He immediately tries to establish himself as an important man in the film and TV industry. He says with a strange twitch in his neck and a repulsive arrogance in his squeaky voice, “I work in film and television.” I know just by the way he dresses and smells that this is true, but he’s probably a messenger, although, this is probably pushing it — don’t know if he will be able to drive around town and find different locations to deliver to without getting lost. He’s more likely a “personal assistant” to some studio executive, as in picking up coffee at the same coffee house on a daily basis and making copies and shredding documents … He wants to talk and tells me right away more about himself, “I am also a photographer.” I can smell an obsession about fantasizing to take photographs of naked girls. I don’t think this guy actually ever got to the point where he could live out his fantasy. Who would pose for him? I can sense how he is an awful photographer, but I want to be encouraging and stay polite, “That’s wonderful.” Time is running out, it’s already last call for alcohol. And I need to ask this guy if he wants to do a lap dance. I am 100% sure he’s way too cheap to spend $20 but I want to see where this goes. He asks me, “When are you up on stage?” Note, he has not tipped any of the dancers who have danced so far, but he is stalking each and every move they have made. I use the opportunity to offer him a private dance, “I might not be up anymore, but I could always dance for you privately. Would you like a private dance?” Him, “Maybe, but I like to build up to it.” Me very factual, “Unfortunately, there’s not much time left to build up to it. My shift is almost over.” He’s excited, “Well. I live close by, and I will come in more often now to chat. And I told you I love to take photos and videos. I could shoot you!” And he winks at me thinking he comes across very sexy and irresistible. My respond to Mr. BuildUp is very simple, ” Oh, that is wonderful, what an opportunity. I love being on camera, but I like to build up to that.” And I wink at him. His face drops as he realizes that I just turned his own bullshit against himself.

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PITY LAP DANCE

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , on July 25, 2017 by tiltdiary

He walked into the club holding his head low. He seemed burdened. I asked him, “What’s wrong my dear?” Him, “My daughter is moving out to go to Harvard. And Daddy has to pay for it all.” I wanted to slap him across the face, but said, “Children are expensive. You should’ve thought about it before you got married and before you made the baby. There’s nothing to be depressed about it. You should be proud of your daughter. Harvard is a big deal.”
I don’t know what men think. Do they really think they can squeeze a pity lap dance or more out of us because having their perfect white picket fence life is so expensive?

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STRIPPER’S TAKE ON LICKING, KISSING, TOUCHING, ASS SMACKING AND OTHERS

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on July 22, 2017 by tiltdiary

An entire group of men stormed into the club and a few of them took a seat at the railing. It was the beginning of the shift and most girls weren’t ready to go up on stage yet. The DJ asked us to hurry up, and I was on stage within seconds. The bearded man next to a bald guy told me proudly, “He’s our bachelor. He’s getting married next week.” A bachelor party! Just a few seconds into my performance the bachelor smacked my ass as if this is what you naturally do when you see a derriere you like. I bend down to him and told him, “Don’t ever do this again. Touching the dancers is against the law.” Him laughing, “Oh, I didn’t know that ha ha ha.” Me, “Plus you just degraded me. What gives you the right to smack my ass?” Him, “I thought you wanted it.” Me, “What made you think I wanted it.” Mr. AssSmacker had no answer for that. I explained, “I am an entertainer, and no one smacks my ass.” Bearded friend next to him started whining, “I am really embarrassed. You make us feel uncomfortable. We tipped you. ” Me, “Oh, so you think the few dollar bills you left on stage for me justify the ass smacking and makes it OK?” Bearded guy stuttering, “Ahhh, eehhhh, ooohhhh, nnnnn…nooo…” He really wanted to say yes. Then he continued, “You make us feel uncomfortable. We are going to leave.” I make them feel uncomfortable? Who violated who?
Many people feel entitled — men as well as women. They treat us like we are a petting zoo. They think a stripper wants to be touched, smacked, licked, kissed … I don’t know were they get the idea from. They know not what they do.

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MR. ERECTION IN THE LAP DANCE

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on July 15, 2017 by tiltdiary

He asked me, “When can I see you dance on stage again .” I explained, “It’ll be a while. We have about fifteen girls working tonight. So it”ll be some time before I get up on stage again. But I can always give you a private show and dance for just you in the lap dance booth.” Him, “Oh God, but then I will probably get an erection. What do we do about that?” Me, “Show me your hands.” He stretched them out right in front of me. I continued, “Flip them over. Let me see the palms of your hands.” He did as I ordered him. Me, “I think you will be just fine. You have two healthy hands, and we have a bathroom here. Second door to the left.”

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BOOBS, BOOBS, BOOBS …

Posted in Customers with tags , , , on July 14, 2017 by tiltdiary

I have learned from male customers that it’s no longer about real or fake. Instead, like cars, they distinguish between models. There’s the old fake boobs (anything before 2010) and the new fake boobs (anything in the last five years). But these also have subcategories based on look, feel, and hang.
Nobody talks about real boobs anymore. They just dream about them.

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