Archive for the Customers Category

SELF-RELIANCE IN THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , on October 17, 2017 by tiltdiary

We were discussing the art of seduction which is one of my favorite subjects. I explained, “Seduction is an art. A honorable form of bringing people to life, making them feel, live, and breathe.” Him very unsatisfied, “But isn’t that just as much a tease for you in some ways as it is for the people who come to watch if you don’t have a release?” I voiced what I truly feel, “Instant gratification is for the primitive mind. I seek the players. It’s the biggest rush.” He defended himself, “I don’t think it’s about instant gratification. There’s a whole slew of biological, chemical reactions that take place when two people are intimate that way. Reactions that are healthy for the body and mind.” I could only laugh, “Ha ha ha, yes healthy reactions … except that your reactions aren’t my responsibility.” A man who cannot play is not desirable for me. He’s off my chart and can go and look for someone else who can help him with his biological, chemical, healthy release …

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MR. AND MISSES SMARTYPANTS IN THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers on October 16, 2017 by tiltdiary

In my career as a stripper, dancer, actress, dog behaviorist, fitness instructor, Fogo Sagrado therapist, and as a dog mother and housewife I have encountered this type of person many times: he/she will tell you what you need to do, find jobs for you, orders you around, instructs you how to be better at what you do, demands you to do things a certain way, and just cannot stop requesting and bossing you around. This type of person — or should I call them a character — will pretend or possibly even believes that them bossing you around is good for you meanwhile they are only looking out for their own benefit, to get a freebee, or even better cash in on your success or hard work. I have a special thing for this smart ass personality type: cannot stand them, won’t put up with them anymore, and I feel like when they get into their ‘ordering around good for me mode’ they are eating up precious lifetime without being helpful or useful. Even in the club, it’s such a big turn off that I don’t even want to do a lap dance for Mr. or Misses SmartyPants. My advice to them is, “Get your own shit together, become successful yourself, get a grip on your own mess before you go around blowing useless advice up someone’s ass!”

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STRIPPERS ARE HEALER, MEDICINE, AND MORE …

Posted in Customers, Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , on September 28, 2017 by tiltdiary

He said to me, “Also, I believe someone wrote a prescription for me. You are the medicine, and the club is the pharmacy. There are many different drugs at your club besides the fine collection of scotch and other spirits.” I nodded my head. I was always convinced that we strippers are healers, half naked therapists, and the club has most likely the right dose and medicine for every ailment.

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NAUGHTY MEMORIES

Posted in Customers, Jones' Poems with tags , , , , on September 22, 2017 by tiltdiary

I am a naughty memory you will push away and try to forget
Rather not telling anybody where we met
Knock it out of your mind
Because you were so unkind
Treat me very cheap
Because what you felt was too deep
Grabbing my ass shows you have no class
Defending your friend, what an asshole
I am not a prostitute, I just dance on a pole
I bring out who you truly are
That’s why you push me away so far
You are convinced you are a nice man
Yet, you are just another scam

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SIMULATED SEX DURING A LAP DANCE

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on September 20, 2017 by tiltdiary

Dear customer,
I appreciate you very much but please do not try to turn a lap dance into copulation. Please sit still, do not gyrate, trust your hips, please do not breath into my ear or down my neck, do not think you have to stimulate my vagina nor my clitoris through your pants. I appreciate your erection but that’s all that should and can happen. I am your dancer not simulated sex provider.

Sincerely,
Yours Jones

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HOW TO SPOIL A WOMAN OR NOT

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , on September 11, 2017 by tiltdiary

He just turned thirty, and when he was telling me his story he seemed obviously very frustrated about the dating world, “I like older women. They seem to appreciate more what I do. I like to invite my girl to my restaurant and cook for her. I am a chef. But the younger girls don’t seem to like this at all. The older women have much more interest in good food and me spoiling them while I am at work. I don’t understand why the fuck women don’t like to be spoiled with food and drinks anymore. It doesn’t fucking make any sense to me. I can offer my girl a lot …” He went on and on about how he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t very popular with the ladies. Two things never even came to his mind. It didn’t occur to him that first of all, cooking for a woman while you are at work making money as a chef and her sitting by herself in a restaurant eating fatty foods you make for her for free, on the restaurant’s cost doesn’t feel like being spoiled at all, doesn’t make a woman feel special, plus how boring to eat by yourself. It’s just lame. Second of all, and even more important he never considered that maybe the ladies weren’t attracted to him because of his appearance, the way he presented himself, the way he talked: He is a short, fat, out of shape man with a troll like, black, giant, scraggly beard around his entire face and neck. Now frankly, just thinking of a guy with an unkempt beard like that cooking for me makes me want to vomit. Not to mention that he uses the word “fuck” very frequently and comes across very rude. But in his delusional mind it is all the ladies’ fault since he’s the perfect catch.

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THE RICHER THE CHEAPER

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on September 6, 2017 by tiltdiary

He was bragging about being the CEO of his company, introduced me to his president, who he claimed was his brother, and bragged about his son working for him as well making at 23 years young already a six figure income. It was towards the end of the shift, and I asked him if he wanted to do a lap dance. He replied, “Not today, I’ll come back.” I told him, “That’s a lie.” Him, “Why would you say I lie.” Me, “Because all men lie.” Him, “You have not met a good man yet.” Me, “Possibly, proof me wrong, I am open for it.” I asked him, “What is your astrological sign?” I often ask customers that when I get a hunch due to their behavior and appearance. Him, “Guess?” It shot out of my mouth like a bullet, “You are a Capricorn.” Him taken by surprise, “How do you know?” Me, “I just know things, just like I know that the guy you said is your brother is not your brother. See, I told you all men lie.” Caught in his lie he wondered, “Are you psychic?” Me, “Yes.” He had become very intrigued and asked me, “I would like to get to know you better. Can you come to my hotel? I am in town till Saturday.” And he gave me his phone number. See, another lie I caught him in. He was from out of town, yet, had promised to come back, although, I told him I was working only this one night this week. Not was he just a liar, but he was cheap too. He never even offered to buy me a drink at the club, not even tipped me one dollar, not even invited me to meet him for lunch or dinner, yet, expected me to meet him to his convenience at his hotel — frankly, just valley parking would’ve cost me $45 but he never considered that — and most likely expected to get laid as well. The richest people are often the cheapest. Now you probably ask me how I know he was rich. He could’ve lied about being a CEO of his software company. But I know that was true because I know things, and because I saw his wallet when he paid for their drinks with credit card — of course so he could write it off as a business expense: his wallet was full of $100 bills.

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