Archive for the Customers Category

SUGAR DADDY IN THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , on May 21, 2019 by tiltdiary

He laid out his offer without any hesitation, “I am not interested in lap dances, but I would like to be your sugar daddy. You are exactly my type, and I would like to have a long distance relationship with you where we text each other, and I buy you things in return for it. I am also twice a month in town and could take you shopping.” So basically, he gets off by sexting and wants a girl who can fulfill his nasty urges. I had the feeling he is possibly married and was trying to keep that a secret. I acted interested, “So all you want is text contact?” He confirmed, “Yes, that is my fantasy. And I will take very good care of you.” Hmmmm, it sounded very interesting and too good to be true. Therefore, I had to dig a little deeper, “So how much are you willing to spend on a relationship like this. What is your budget?” He hesitated, “I will really buy you nice things. Do you know lululemon?” Everybody knows lululemon and while their athletic wear is alright it’s not a high end designer. Nor do they offer organic cotton materials and their bras suck and are uncomfortable. I just nodded. Him again to convince me to give out my phone number, “I am financially very comfortable, and I could take good care of you.” Me persistent, “What sums are we talking about? What is financially comfortable?” He proudly pulled out his phone and logged into his checking account. He presented me with his head held high the big number, “This is my balance!” It read $12,697. I almost exploded in laughter. This is less than I have saved in my piggy bank for my rescue dog’s emergency fund. I could barely suppress a huge outburst but bit my tongue and said, “Wow, good for you. I am sorry, but I am not very good with text.”

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WHISKEY TOUR AT THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , on May 8, 2019 by tiltdiary

She said to me near the end of the shift, “I made about $20 all night long.” I was surprised, “Wait, you were talking to this guy at the bar all night long. Tell him he needs to do a few dances with you or give you some money.” She explained, “It’s OK. He took me on a whiskey tour.” I shook my head, “That’s not good for your wallet.” Her excusing with a slightly drunk slurp, “But it’s good for my soul.”
If you ask me, the guy took her on a whiskey tour to make him feel better about his own alcoholism — he’s a real drunk. And instead of giving her money to support her livelihood he poisoned his stripper.

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STRIP CLUB CUSTOMERS WHO PROMISE TO PAY YOU FOR YOUR TIME

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , on May 7, 2019 by tiltdiary

When a strip club customer declines a lap dance but promises to pay you for your time talking to him, in general, you should run as fast as you can. It means he will chew your ear off for hours and give you a minimal tip when you go on stage working your ass off. This promise is almost always a disappointment for the stripper in the favor of the customer. Unless, he slides a Benjamin in your garter belt when he promises to pay you for your time, or regularly hands you $20 bills until your discussions are completed.

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LAP DANCE COMPLAIN

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on May 6, 2019 by tiltdiary

He kept going on and on about the shitty lap dances he had received from the dancer in the peach colored bikini, “I am all danced out. That was the worst lap dance I’ve ever had. She really sucks. There was no connection, no intimacy …” That night we had 14 girls on the floor to choose from. I don’t understand what he was complaining about. First of all, he himself chose to dance with PeachBikini. Nobody forced him to. Second of all, he could’ve done one dance and stopped if he didn’t like it. And third, he should just suck it up and keep it to himself. After all, you can only blame yourself if you stick to a dancer whose dance you don’t like. 

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WHILE THE BOUNCER WAS ASLEEP

Posted in Customers, Jones' Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2019 by tiltdiary

While the bouncer was asleep 

I wanted to wheep

Because a customer slapped my ass, what a creep

While the bouncer took a shit

A customer groped my tit

Without even leaving a tip

In comes the popo

Looking for blow blow

Don’t pretend you’re a thug 

I can’t help you find drugs

Into the lap dance booth we go

Where they think they can treat me like a cheap ho

“It’s OK to grind on my boner

I am really good friends with the strip club owner

I can touch you all I can

Because the manager knows I am the man”

I think to myself what a sham

Everybody is full of shit

I wish I could just quit

Instead I have to pay the bouncer a ten percent tip 

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CATCHING THE BIG WHALE 🐳 OR MANY LITTLE FISH 🎣

Posted in Customers, Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , , , , , on April 25, 2019 by tiltdiary

Each night, at the strip club is different. Sometimes, you get lucky and a big whale comes in and makes your night. Those are often easy nights especially when your big whale shows up early. But most of the times it’s collecting and catching the little fish and adding up your little successes to brighten the sky. Their sky, because you made their life better spending time with them, advising them, listening to them, and making them feel special. Your sky, because it adds up so you can take care of your family till your next shift. You never judge the little fish, never rest on your laurels, and always hope for the big whale to top it all off. Long live the whale 🐳

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WHAT’S EVEN WORSE THAN ASKING A STRIPPER FOR HER PHONE NUMBER

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2019 by tiltdiary

Of course, guys try it all the time. They try to get your real name, your phone number, and they hope you’ll give them your home address too so they can stop by when they feel like it. It’s common but also easy to decline and not give out your personal information. But when a regular customer comes prepared with his phone number specifically written down for you — note, he’s not giving you his card because he doesn’t want you to know much about him — then it’s over. Because it shows he doesn’t understand the service you provide, he’s already disrespecting you thinking you’re “friends” now and will “hang out” for free. He is expecting you to call him and since you won’t he will be mad at you and label you as the gold digger who just wanted his money. He is mixed up and confused about what your relationship is about, and it basically means the relationship is over. Most regular strip club customers have a shelf life since they just can’t wrap their head around it how it works. Once you hold that paper with his first name only and his phone number on it in your hand … all you can say is, “Sayonara.” And you will miss him but not enough to call him 🤪

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