Archive for September, 2013

PUGFACE IS LOOKING FOR MUSIC

Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , , , on September 30, 2013 by tiltdiary

I work a weekly shift at the club where we are suppose to only play music from the 80s, our “80s Night.” I have a very specific playlist and choose songs according to my audience. None of the girls that work with me ever play Tina Turner. On my last 80s night shift, about 3/4 though my shift, I played one of my favorite Tina Turner songs “Private Dancer.” Sure enough, PugFace plays for the rest of the night one Tina Turner song after the other. Really?

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MARRIED AND WANTING TO GET LAID

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2013 by tiltdiary

I see him sitting at the high table with a direct view to the stage. This man does stand out because of his conspicuous appearance. He is dressed in T-shirt and jeans, nothing special there. In his 40s, medium built, not thin or thick, with a ‘but’ face and head. He is almost bold, wears glasses, and I feel bad for describing him like this, but he is drop dead ugly, troll like. I usually do not judge people by their external appearance but you will soon understand why I describe this customer like this.

As I said, I do not judge by the appearance, so I walk up to him because he could be a very nice man, and often nature makes up for lacking beauty with high intelligence. So I see the opportunity of at least an invigorating conversation and since that happens not very often at the club, I don’t let any chance pass.

He seems very nice after out initial introduction. He is very chatty and wastes no time, “I was at the sex club next door. There is a special ‘By invitation only’ party, and I was looking forward to get laid. But to be honest, it was horrible. Only ugly, fat women there, and that’s totally not my deal. I don’t want to bang some fat bitch.” Holy mushroom, Mr. Troll really thinks he is a winner and should have casual sex with Heidi Klum and Cindy Crawford, which he probably wouldn’t like either because they might be too old for him. Mr. Troll is seriously convinced a 20 year old super model is right up his alley. He continues with mind blowing confidence, “Well, since the sex club wasn’t my thing, I thought I come here. And I found what I am looking for. You are exactly my type. But don’t worry, I am not looking for a relationship. I am married and have two kids, so just casual sex.” He smirks, “I am a bad boy.” I almost cannot believe my ears and all I can say to that is, “I have to go on stage now.” He tips me $1 on stage and tries to put a smile on like a gigolo, but his troll face almost makes me explode into laughter on stage, and I burst out to the surprise to my co-strippers in the dressing room the minute I get through the life saving curtain that separates the stage from the dressing room. Sometimes, even a Jones doesn’t know what to say to that.

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PUGFACE AND PLAYING POOL

Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , , , , on September 28, 2013 by tiltdiary

I meet this young gentleman, Richard, at the beginning of my shift, and we hit it off right away. We talk about astrology (we even look up his  Moon sign and Chinese sign), relationships, marriage, and so on. We have a really great time together, and his friend who is talking to PugFace suggests we play a round of pool together. I rarely play pool at the club, but once in a while, I do make an exception, and Richard is asking me nicely to join his team. PugFace throws a tantrum. She refuses to play against me, tries to convince her customer to just play with her and not against me and Richard. I even suggest for Richard to play with another girl because PugFaces’ tantrum is really embarrassing and ridiculous. But Richard insists and doesn’t really understand why PugFace throws such a fit.

In the end, PugFace has no choice to give in and play against me. Well, I’ll spare you the results of the match … It’s obvious, with PugFace attitude nothing can go well. But Richard and I keep having a blast.

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LASER VERSES RAZOR

Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , on September 27, 2013 by tiltdiary

Like in any business if you want to be successful you will need to invest a certain amount of money on a regular basis. Stripping requires tools as well as the willingness to get your body physically stripper ready. Lots of girls invest into boob jobs and other drastic surgeries, but today I want to focus on one important factor most people do not consider. The smoothness of your skin and the appearance of your nails. A stripper with a bad manicure or pedicure is a trashy stripper. It is important to keep nail polish in top shape and finger- and toenails in best condition. By looking at a strippers nails you can tell how good she takes care of herself.

It is also a must for a stripper to not be a hairy stripper, and we have several choices to keep our skin up to stripper standards. You can wax (which is problematic as the hair needs to grow back to a certain length in order to be able to wax again, so there will be a cactus like appearance for a few weeks which isn’t really acceptable in the strip club), shave (which is very expensive on long term and often leave you with razor burns), or you can laser (costly but in the end the best solution in my opinion).

As you see, there is much more to stripping than just knowing how to dance, and we haven’t even talked about costumes, makeup, alcohol, and sanitizing products yet. Stripping is a profession and needs preparation and lots of upkeep.

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HOW TO REJECT A LAP DANCE

Posted in Stripper Secrets with tags , , , , , , , on September 26, 2013 by tiltdiary

I walk up to a customer to ask him if he wants a lap dance. I don’t think I am his type but what the heck, I have nothing to lose on a slow night. He whines, “I can’t. I am broke. It’s expensive. If I would have money I would love to.” I say, “OK.” I still stand right next to him when another girls walks up to him. She is much heavier than me and has a big butt. Without flinching he walks into the lap dance booth with her and does a dance.

My co-strippers complain to me about this type of male behavior all the time. Men say all kinds of things when they don’t want a lap dance from a particular girl. Excuses are, “If I would do lap dances, I would do a lap dance with you,” or “I am broke, I can’t,” or “I am married and my wife wouldn’t allow me to.” The explanations for why they can’t do a lap dance are endless but then they walk off 2 seconds later with a girl that’s more their type and do dances with her right under your nose. I don’t take this type of rejection personally. Men like different types, and there’s a girl for every guy. But what I haven’t figured out yet is why they lie so badly and don’t just say, “No, thank you.” Weird huh? They can’t even tell a stripper the truth.

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SHOWING SOME LOVE TO A STRIPPER

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , on September 25, 2013 by tiltdiary

I join two young guys at the table to find out what they are all about. The younger man cannot stop talking to me and tells me about himself and how successful he is. He owns a clothing line and tells me how he has traveled around the world, how much money he makes, and how successful he is at his young age. He shows me photographs in his phone to prove to me that he’s telling the truth and even shows me his clothing line website and asks me to pick clothes so he can give them to me next time he will see me.

When I go on stage he sits upfront and tips me $2. The girls in the dressing room ask me who he is, because they think, he is very good looking and handsome, but none of them tries to talk to him or his friend. I get back out there to thank him for his measly tip, and he thinks now that he has tipped me so well, I am his. He says, “When can I see you outside of the club. I am crazy for you, and I want to get to know you better.” I say, “Do you want a lap dance?” He says, “Yes, but not here. A private dance at home.” I say, ” It doesn’t work that way, but I just came over to thank you for your tip.” I always thank customers for tipping me no matter how small the amount is. Mr. ClothingDesigner says, “But sure honey, I have to show you my loooooove.” Wow, $2 is how he shows his love after he showed me the countless houses he owns all over the world and the big cars he drives. Fuck you very much …

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NO GENTLEMEN IN THE GENTLEMEN’S CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , on September 24, 2013 by tiltdiary

Guy waves his little finger at me to call me over. I am polite and walk over to introduce myself, and he says, “Ha ha ha ha ha I just wanted to see if I can make you come with my little finger.”

I am disgusted by how primitive some people can really be, and it’s amazing what we have to endure dealing with humanity.

Jonesing for more? http://www.amazon.com/dp/1257802860/ref=dra_a_rv_ss_ho_it_P1400_1000?tag=dradis-20

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