Jones’ Safety Tips

Swan by Nanette Gonzales

Jones’ Necessities & Must Haves

  • Sanitizing wipes (important: choose NON moisturizing kind)
  • Alcohol wipes
  • Band-Aids
  • Chewing gum (extra strength peppermint or wintergreen works best)
  • Mentholated cough drops
  • Mentholated based muscle massage gel (non-greasy formula)
  • Antacid (ex: Pepcid AC or Tums)
  • 2-3 extra towels

How to Survive a Shift

  1. Do not sit on any chairs without covering the seat with your personal towel. You never know who sat on this chair before. Once your chair is covered with your towel it becomes your personal property for the duration of the shift. Defend your property against any intruders including co-strippers.
  2. Do not share drinks or cigarettes with customers or co-strippers. Most diseases are spread via Droplet Infection
  3. Watch out for co-stripper’s kissy kiss habits. Use cheeks as mouth shield protectors.
  4. Important rule: NEVER share make-up or men. Keep eyeliners, lip liners, lipsticks, and lip-glosses hidden from co-strippers. If you are asked for a product, ALWAYS decline having it. Hide any cosmetics well inside your stripper bag or even better, in your locker.
  5. Before starting your dance on the main stage, wipe the pole thoroughly with your disposable alcohol wipes (Do not fear the extra investment of disposable wipes as the reuse of a towel will spread germs).
  6. After you exit the stage wipe any body part that touched the stage with your sanitizing or alcohol wipes. However stay away from moisturizing sanitizers as they turn the pole into a slippery hazard.
  7. Be aware that you deal constantly with germ infested money and customers during the shift. Frequent hand washing (with HOT water and soap) is recommended as well as regular hand sanitation. Avoid touching your face during your shift.
  8. Avoid the Spitter – the customer with a lazy or long tongue slurping his words (this can also occur through intoxication with alcohol or drugs) and spitting while he’s speaking. He is a germ spreading machine. If spitting accident occurs excuse yourself politely but quickly and rush into the dressing room to treat contaminated areas with alcohol or sanitizing wipes.
  9. Be aware of Stinky Mouth customer. Good news is some problems can be fixed instantly. Casually offer him gum while you pop one. If gum doesn’t take care of the issue, step it up to a mentholated cough drop or if bad breath is caused by halitosis, offer up to three antacids. But remember, since he has poor oral hygiene most likely his overall hygiene is questionable as well. If his mouth isn’t clean … always be polite with your suggestions in order not to offend your customer.
  10. Tell the Groper in the lap dance booth how much you would enjoy being touched by him, however because of government regulations it could get him thrown in jail if an undercover cop is visiting.
  11. Watch out for the Ear Licker Neck Kisser. Yuck! They are sneaky, fast acting predators. Never get too close and be faster than him. You need to learn to predict his actions before he acts. In time your Licker-Repellent-Reflex will develop. In case you are not very savvy with this type of customer, wear the mentholated-based massage gel on your neck. Licking Tiger Balm will teach him a valuable lesson.
  12. If you know a customer is influenza infected, decline a lap dance politely (I will teach this in my Jones Emergency Manual). Your health is more important than money, plus one false decision can lead to the incapability to work for days or even weeks. Instead, send your arch nemesis co-stripper to take care of his urges. With this technique, you kill three flies with one hit!
    1. Influenza infected customer is taken care of.
    2. Arch nemesis thinks you’re her best friend because you’re giving her money and work.
    3. Arch nemesis will be knocked out for weeks if she catches the virus.
  13. Always treat your own floor burns and the ones of co-strippers with alcohol wipes and apply sturdy band-aids to avoid cross-contamination.
  14. Never sit on the club toilet seat. Always squat.
  15. Tear off the first five sheets of the toilet paper roll. The exposed paper could be contaminated with herpes simplex 1 or 2, gonorrhea, chlamydia, or syphilis.

Follow us on Twitter @Tiltdiary and Facebook

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: