I asked him, “How old is your daughter?” He replied, “She is sixteen, and there are problems, but luckily she isn’t interested in boys yet.” I hear this confession from parents all the time. They are relieved to know that their precious kid isn’t interested in sex yet. Maybe they are even hoping that she might never get into boys and he might never get into girls? Although, of course, at some point parents expect their daughters to marry a prince, have at least two story book children with him, and live happily ever after, while their son should find a good girl, who supports his career so he can feed their children and build a successful life. It all resolves in the end about building a family which means reproduction but nobody talks about it.
Are the fathers afraid their daughters might fall for a guy like them? Are they hoping that if sexuality is denied it will never take its natural course? Why is sexuality looked so bad upon?
A healthy child’s sexuality starts early on. Girls and boys know already in kindergarten about the other sex. Girls and boys masturbate before parents can even think of them as sexual beings. They don’t know what they are doing, but they know masturbation feels oh so good.
Parents shouldn’t try to keep sexuality suppressed or hope it will never develop. They should be more worried about what example they set for their children when it comes to sexuality, what role they can play guiding their child through dating responsibly, and how they can make their kids understand that feeling sexual doesn’t mean you have to act upon it by just hooking up with a random partner. There are many other ways to channel sexuality in a healthy way. Problem is that most parents don’t want to talk about sex. Often, they are not worried about their sons too much. Heck, they luckily can’t get pregnant — but they can and responsible parenting should make this clear along with helping boys as well as girls through the emotional and physical challenges as well as explaining what sex is all about. We cannot sweep sex under the carpet, especially in this day and age where easily accessibly porn taints the minds about sex, and how it should be perceived and how it happens. Parents need to step it up. Sex and the desire for it doesn’t just go away when not talked about. If your son or daughter tells you they are not interested in boys or girls that doesn’t mean they truly aren’t. They just might feel how uncomfortable you feel about the subject and your shame projects onto them, so with an answer like that the subject is easily pushed aside and avoided. It’s time for parents to step it up. Deal with your own sexuality responsibly and teach your kids that sex is a part of life that can be enjoyed when you find the right person to do it with.
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