Sadly, many men mistaken politeness with sexual opportunity. — A.A. Jones
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Phone calls, FaceTime, WhatsApp or Facebook messenger video calls are more popular than ever. That was very different before the pandemic. Unless very old school, men in general would prefer text messaging. Text messaging is very non-committal but it will also give him time to think about how to respond right (as in getting closer to what he wants, instead of pissing her off and rather pushing her away) as well as it’s easier to hide via text who you really are.
However, I’ve seen a change in trends. Men, especially the age group between thirties and mid-forties are more likely to ask for a phone call or even video call. I’m not sure yet why this is happening. Is it their own loneliness or do they think it’s easier to convince her to like a guy she can put a face to.
While this is a fairly new development I myself am curious to find out where this trend is going and how other women respond to it.
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Over the past year, many of my previous strip club customers or acquaintances have been in touch with me. At the beginning of the pandemic when the first “lockdown“ was announced it was easy to reject meeting them due to the pandemic and not knowing how this virus would behave. We would stay in touch more or less. However, in the past few months I’ve been bombarded with questions like, “So once I’m fully vaccinated would you be willing to finally get together?” Many of these men (and I’m sure many women too) think that once they got the jab all is good. Most of them did not get the shot because they believed it in but because they are tired of not being able to do things “freely.” When I ask them if they believe that this jab will provide immunity and prevent transmissions they are baffled. Then they offer to take a test too so they can come over 🙄
What I don’t tell them is that, while I was always concerned about covid, I’m even more concerned about them shedding Spike proteins from their experimental shot. But after taking the jab it’s pointless for me to try to educate them or even tell them what possible consequences their decision could have for their health. Plus it’s not my job. Everybody is responsible for their own immunity.
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Maybe the holidays, maybe some other times … I wonder what happens when two people, who say and think they hate humans, meet? I wonder what happens when they let their guard down, let each other into their lives even for just a second? Would they destroy each other or make each other thrive? I wonder and cannot stop wondering as I still dwell in the fantasy without the courage to make it reality. It’s not easy to break solace and open the tiny gate of the giant stone wall buried under the mud of self-protection and anger against humanity …
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A woman, a dancer, and four months out of her life that changed everything …
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… they always do either too much, too little, or too late. — A.A. Jones
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4) Tell me about your first lap dance and what it triggered in you
Well, I obviously didn’t get a lap dance when I was 21. 😂 The first time I got a lap dance was when I was 40 and it was probably after the first few times of going back to a strip club after 19 years. I was traveling for work and my client’s limo driver hooked me up in a champagne room. I was not yet a strip club regular and still had only been to a strip club a handful of times. I didn’t know what to do – how to act and behave. The lovely dancer tried her best to dance and entice me, but my concern was really about her. I asked her how she was and if she was comfortable. I didn’t want her to feel like she was obligated to dance for me. I felt awkward just sitting there with a beautiful woman dancing on me, while knowing I cannot touch her. Again, I didn’t know how to act. Ultimately, I told her I just wanted to talk and drink. So, that’s what we did for about four hours and I loved every minute of it.
5) You say you had sex with a few strippers. Was this business, love and pleasure or both?
When I started going to strip clubs again at 40, I thought of hooking up with a stripper for the first time as a challenge, a goal, and a dream. I realize that sounds terrible, but I’m being honest about my thoughts. Let’s face it, nearly all the guys that go to strip clubs dream of the same thing, that is why they are there. However, not many make it a personal goal like it was a triathlon to finish.
So, I initially took a studious approach to my strip club visits when I first went back to them. I had a few go-to questions and replies that I always used. I didn’t go to the stages, I rarely got lap dances, but I always bought them drinks. When I had the extra money, I would buy them off the list just so we could go to a table and drink and talk. I tried to break the barriers down and get to really know the person behind the stage name. Now, it wasn’t as calculating as it may sound. I did go to the strip club to have fun and I really did have a strong interest in the dancers’ lives. I craved all the stories. They fascinated me. All of these things usually did open up to me. I became very popular with many of the girls and they always welcomed me graciously when I went to the club.
One of the dancers and I talked in depth every time I went. However, she eventually stopped working at the club I frequent. About six months later, after never hearing from her, she called me and said, “It occurred to me that maybe you wanted more than just friendship.” She had moved out of town, but was coming back. She wanted to know if I wanted to visit her at her hotel. Well, I was pretty clueless, or didn’t want to believe. I asked her if I could take her to dinner beforehand. Essentially, I thought she was asking to go on dates and get to know each other more outside of the club. When the day came for us to meet up, she started asking about money. Duh me! Of course, she was asking me to pay her for sex. I got the sense she didn’t know what she was doing, as she struggled to skirt around the proposition. I told her no and that I don’t need to pay for sex. But I also told her she should have just came to me as a friend and ask for money if she was having financial problems.
The first time I actually did have sex with a stripper it was for pleasure, in line with my goals at the time. I’ve already stated I wouldn’t pay for sex, but I guess it is not so black and white. I definitely gave this girl lots of tips and handouts at the strip club just to gain, and keep, access to her throughout the night. I don’t know what that means really. It did work and eventually we left and had sex. Nothing special really. We hung out for about three weeks after and did a few things outside of the club. It didn’t live up to any fantasy I may have had, but I did accomplish my goal. While it sounds wrong, I could cross it off the list.
At that time, even though the first dancer wasn’t really memorable, I continued to strive to hook up with strippers. The next one I slept with was I guess more business-like. It started out, and remained, like a “sugar daddy/baby” sort of thing. We went out and did things, she came to my house a lot just to hang out, and we had a lot of sex. There was never a discussion or agreement that I would pay her for sex. However, she had a young boy and was struggling a lot. Since I had the extra money, I helped her out a lot financially. Eventually, she probably thought that this was in fact an agreement. This went on for a couple of months until I reluctantly ended it.
The next one was initially about lust and transitioned into love. She was the stripper I was really always seeking. She was the anomaly that I always wondered if actually existed. But forget the fact she was a stripper, because that was quickly forgotten and doesn’t matter, she was the one girl I wondered if actually existed in my entire universe. It is a long-complicated story that is probably too much for here. Needless to say, she crushed me like no other person ever has in my life. After that, I needed some outlet to heal, so I started my first blog about the struggle. The crush of that ending changed me so deeply and I still think about her every day.
6) Do you prefer strippers as sex partners and if yes why?
From a sexual perspective, I don’t think it necessarily matters. I may prefer it because of their beauty and because I often find that we share similar struggles. However, if I could find the same thing in my regular life, I don’t think it would matter. And I do believe women with those attributes do readily exist out there. I just can’t find them. With a strip club, the beautiful lost souls are all congregated in one place. I don’t mean that as a putdown or a negative, as I am too a lost soul and appreciate the connection with the same.
Even though I loved it, I almost never get lap dances. I know many of the dancers at the strip club I frequent. They all know not to ask me for a dance. But every once in a while, a new dancer will come along and try to pitch me on a dance. I listen to their pitch, laugh, then tell them no, but give them $20 for trying.
Noah Corbin’s blog https://stripper-life.com/
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Women seem to like to get it in words when they are in a relationship. They want to hear the words of commitment. But men don’t like to decide and don’t like to speak about it. Because men cannot decide easily. They like to keep the door open, behave committed on the date, then disappear for days, weeks, or months. That drives women crazy. But ladies, if he doesn’t treat you every day the way you want to be treated, if he isn’t available, doesn’t share your interests, doesn’t court and support you: then you see his intentions very clearly, and you wouldn’t want him to tell you that he’s yours because then you would catch him in a lie on top of him just being the fling you might not want. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If you want him to be there and he isn’t then find another match or enjoy your freedom.
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You could see he was exuberated with confidence. He barely introduced himself but couldn’t wait to ask me, “Have you read ‘Spent’ by Antonia Crane?” I said, “No, I haven’t.” Him, “Well, she’s a stripper and my friend, and I know how it works. I get it. You should read the book. It’s a best seller. Antonia is doing really good.” I said to him, “She must be doing well if she had the money to get her book on the best seller list.” Him, “Ohhh, I don’t know anything about that, well, I don’t know if her book is really on the best seller list. But I can bring you a copy next time I come and visit.” I said, “Sure, why not.” Him, “Oh, you don’t want to buy her book yourself to support her.” Me, “No, since she’s doing so well and you’re offering to buy it for me.” Then he started groping me and explained he wasn’t doing any lap dances. He was just here to chat. I told him, “Well, if you are such a supportive stripper friend and know exactly how it works then please take you dirty paws off of me, stop trying to get a free show and fix, and go and re-read ‘Spent’ so you can come back and behave appropriately on your next visit. Good-night.” Men are strange creatures. They think because they read a book on strippers, or because they are our friend they can get away with what other men shouldn’t do.
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Dear Strip Club Customer,
I know you want to take us home when the club closes, you want to know what we are doing afterwards, but don’t you know … strippers turn into pumpkins when the club doors close.
Sincerely,
A.A. Jones
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Tilt: Diary of a Virgin Stripper 