PARALYZING CHILDHOOD PROGRAMS

We were talking about my blog, and I mentioned how my writing had become rather flat and boring since I wasn’t working at the club anymore, since I wasn’t unhappily in love, since I wasn’t suffering anymore nor in pain. He was wondering, “But why don’t you just write about everything that’s so beautiful about your new life?” I stopped in my tracks … and I had an epiphany, “Nobody had taught me to create art because of happiness and joy. I was only taught to create when in pain and suffering.” And another thought crosses my mind. I probably never considered that someone would be interested to read about me being happy. Isn’t that strange? I guess childhood programming can be truly paralyzing.

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LIBERATION THROUGH CREATION

He said to me, “Isn’t that why we create? To be understood?” I replied, “I don’t know. I think I create because I want to make people feel. Something. There’s no wrong emotion. But most people are rather internally dead. So if I can bring them to life it’s more about them not necessarily that I feel understood.”

He explained, “I love to inspire emotions in people, but personally the creations help me to connect with people and feel understood. Having grown up in such a super Christian household, people’s reactions and appreciation helps validate my own feelings and not feel like those particular forms of expression are wrong.” I understood, “It’s liberating for you. Liberation through expression.” He confirmed, “Absolutely, that’s what the self shots did for me, and why I became braver as time went on. I let go of a lot of shame.”

Expression can be like therapy. Whether you photograph, dance, sing, or write yourself free … there’s liberation in many forms, and it’s most likely more effective than conventional therapy trying to talk yourself free while often you talk yourself into the same energies and limitations you’re trying to let go off.

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WILL IMAGINATION KEEP ME ALIVE

I confessed my biggest fear to him, “What if my creativity, my urge to express will just fade in the every day blah and grind?” The pandemic has quenched my urge to express. Part of it is because I always thrived most from collaborations with talented people. We could supplement each other’s skills and bring expression to an entire new height. He wrote back, “I doubt it will ever go away, with the way that your imagination is constantly spinning.”

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STRIPPER CONFESSES HER BIGGEST TEMPTATION

I live to create. Whether it’s through writing, acting, dancing … My biggest temptation has always been creating what moves others. If I can just spark something in you … that is my biggest turn on.

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STAGE SLITHER

 

Photo by Khari, @khari

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WHAT MAKES A STRIPPER TICK

A creative collaboration where masterminds melt together to make others feel and create art has always been my biggest weakness and temptation.  — A.A. Jones 

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SEDUCTION WILL BRING YOU TO LIFE

The red lights in the club mix into a deep, velvety soup
It masques any imperfection or unpleasant goop
Any flaws will be blurred out
And you don’t have to worry about
Give me more of that soothing, red stew
I dive into it like thick, heavy glue
Skin glows in the dark
An illusion created to lark
Makes the imprint into a man’s heart
When he sees you step on stage to create art
The perfect sculpted female figure
Pushes all of his manly triggers
Seduction is a game so sweet
Makes life worth living with that memory sweep
Hair flowing
Hot air blowing
Defying gravity with my dance
I wake your spirit … that’s your chance

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LIFE IS LIKE A LONG POLE DANCE

You just have to surrender to the pain the pole inflicts, the way it chafes your skin, bruises and burns you in places you didn’t even knew existed. The pole is a hard metal rod you go against, so it will tear on you, gravity will try to pull you down, hyper-extend your joints, and harden you skin. But the callus you built, with continuous practice, will turn out to be what protects the delicate skin underneath them. If you don’t give up, you will get stronger, and you won’t recognize the pain anymore which will turn your pole tricks into beautiful art. Then you will learn to surrender and just go with the flow. You will realize the harder the metal the more you need to soften, breath, and bend in order to make it a joyful experience. And this is when art is born. The art of pole dancing and the art to live.

Photo by Nanette Gonzales Photography

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