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Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , on September 21, 2013 by tiltdiary

He is unusually tall and that catches my attention right away when I step out of the dressing room. After I introduce myself, Nick tells me that he is 6’5″,and that he is a relationship expert. He shows me on his phone the latest book he wrote (a relationship guide for women) and a clip of a TV show he appeared on. Obviously, he thinks this will impress me. He is savvy with words and keeps calling me “Princess,” and I can tell he feels he is the hot shit. He thinks he knows it all and is better and more desirable than any other person. I can tell he thinks I am very attracted to him, and he acts as if I couldn’t contain myself around him. Then, after he frantically turns around to make sure no one is listening in on our conversation, he confesses thinking that this will get me even hotter for him, “Princess, I was invited to the sex club around the corner, and it’s just still a little bit too early so that’s why I stopped by here.” I say, “Oh, do you like sex clubs?” Him very proud, cocky, and liberated, “Well, I like to watch my girlfriend getting fucked by other men, that’s why I go to sex clubs.” I nod my head and ask, “Oh, so you’re meeting your girlfriend at the sex club then?” He admits without even thinking how controversial he comes across, “I don’t have a girlfriend, but I really get turned on watching my girlfriend get fucked, and then, maybe later I want to fuck her too. Don’t you think it’s empowering for a woman to have a boyfriend like me, Princess? She can fuck whoever she wants while I am the loyal boyfriend.” I spare him my opinion, and frankly I have heard enough. During the whole conversation I was close to vomiting, not because of the content of our conversation (I have become very tough during my four years of working as a stripper, and I have heard all sorts of stories), but because Mr. Expert smells horrible. He has horribly bad breath (very foul penetrating my delicate Croatian blood hound nose), and his body odor is almost unbearable. He probably hasn’t taken a shower in a few days, but he is now trying to get laid either in the sex club, or even better, in his fantasy, he thinks he can take me as his girlfriend to the sex club and do what gets him off easiest.

I leave him to go on stage, and he doesn’t tip me a penny, although he bragged earlier about how successful and rich he is, and how easy he makes money. When I get back on the floor I just sense I need to go back and talk to Mr. StinkyExpert to get at least a story out of him. He voluntarily sets it up rambling on, “My Ex girlfriend was a stripper too. I know how it works, but I am not a customer.” I say, “Yes, you are a customer, you are in here.” Him, “I am not even watching.” Ugh, I love when guys say that. I say, “Well, but if you know how it all works and since you are so wealthy, why don’t you help me out tonight and tip me at least a few bucks.” He gets very mean, “I am not a customer, and I cannot help the world. ” I say, “OK, so you are in for the free show. ” And I walk away disgusted by his attitude and even more disgusted by his smell. But I am not writing about Mr. StinkyExpert to complain about another cheap customer, no, what concerns me more is knowing that he considers himself as a relationship guide. It actually frightens me, because I am sure that he never mentions in his books the most important rule of a relationship: Basic Hygiene! Not to mention that he is a very rude, cocky, stingy, selfish man, and I thinks those are all the qualities that will guarantee any relationship to fail.

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