Archive for Longing


Posted in Jones' Fantasies with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2014 by tiltdiary

photoPhoto art by Leen Isabel

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Posted in Jones' Poems with tags , , , , on February 27, 2014 by tiltdiary

Cannot sleep

Cannot weep

Longing for you to hold me tight

Just for one more night

Sometimes wishing I could forget

And embrace regret

Let my broken heart heal

So I can begin to feel

I can’t look back

Cut myself some slack

Only sweet dreams will let me rest

Knowing I love you best

The morning light will shine through

As I wake up loving you

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Posted in Jones' Fantasies, Jones' Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2014 by tiltdiary

jones_unicornTake me away

Where my heart is free to play

Race with me through the darkest forest

Leaving behind fear and finding courage

Let us fiercely fly through the night

Without fearing chill or fright

Inhaling the ice cold air

Knowing together we can battle all despair

Feeling the wind on my bare skin

Knowing love will always win

Take me away

Wherever this ends

All the way to where rainbows bend

You and I

Together we are eternal and will never die

Photo art by Kristen Wright Photographs

Photo by Nanette Gonzales Photography

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Posted in Jones' Fantasies with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 11, 2013 by tiltdiary

lomob-2I dance at the club almost during every shift on ‘Purple Rain’, and finally, I found my purple rain. We all have desire for purple rain, and at the same time, it wakes some pain inside of us. Maybe the longing is what makes us so painful. But everything in life is about pleasure and pain, even death. But here is my purple rain and what I feel when I climb the pole on this song. Up into the sky, fearless with endless devotion. Because true friendship takes devotion and sacrifice, and most of the times this devotion will not be reciprocated. That causes pain, yet, I will devote again in the hope to find the pleasure … at least for a little time, because it’s better to get a short storm of purple rain than no purple rain at all. I have my purple rain …

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Posted in Jones' Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2013 by tiltdiary

“I miss you

I want you

I cannot live without you”

But you have me

My sweet love

I am with you

All the time

And Forever

I am right where you want me to be

In your




That’s all you want

That’s all you ever wanted

All you can hadle

All you have the courage for

You miss me

But not enough

To be with me

Just enough to long for me

And thinking you could have me

Is plenty enough for you

You get once more

All you want

 Miss me

Long for me

Dream of me

Think of me

Crave me


And forever

In your




You stay safe

I stay lonely


And forever

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Posted in Jones' wisdom with tags , , , , , on May 9, 2013 by tiltdiary

I have come to the conclusion that when you give a man what he truly wants, desires, and dreams off, then he will most likely run the other way and leave you standing in disbelieve. I think his reaction mostly happens out of fear and the amount of overwhelming emotions that he will experience once his secret desires are fulfilled. Men do much better not getting what they long for.

Keeping them barely alive, making them yearn for more, allowing them to live in the fantasy without ever fulfilling the fantasy completely keeps men emotionally most available and long term relationships develop. There is not much difference when it comes to this fact, whether you apply it to the regular life or the fantasy world of the strip club. However, without my strip club experiences and insights that my customers share with me, I would have never come to this fascinating discovery.

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Posted in Jones' Poems with tags , , , , on February 27, 2013 by tiltdiary

Blown away


Endlessly far

There is my sweet homeland

Dreary and empty

With fading power of recollection

Whatever once connected us

Oh Christmas tree

Oh Childhood Dream

Why are you tearing on my heart

Every light morphs into a face

Why are you waking my agony

Blown away


There’s my heart buried somewhere

I try to sleep but always wake

To catch a glimpse of it

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