Archive for Fear

FOREVER FREE TIN MAN

Posted in Jones' Poems with tags , , , , , , on September 8, 2017 by tiltdiary

One day you will find your Queen
You only treat her mean
You have to be in control
Behaving like a troll
You only push her away
Kicking her like a mange ridden stray
Feeling things you never felt before
You are afraid to experience more
Rejecting everything and all
Ignoring her love and any call
One day she stops to care
You have lost your irresistible flair
She leaves
But you don’t beg her to stay
You grow old and ugly
Looking like an overweight pugly
That ugly stray
Was all you beg for when you pray
But it’s too late
She found someone worthy of her bait
You lost your chance
She doesn’t want your dance
In the mirror you daily recognize
The imbecile behind your beady green eyes

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THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON THE STRIP CLUB HAS TAUGHT ME

Posted in Jones' wisdom with tags , , , , , , on June 22, 2016 by tiltdiary

People aren’t inconsiderate or oblivious on purpose. Often times, it’s a lack of communication skills, compassion, and the ability to treat others the way they want to be treated. Being able to walk in someone elses’ shoes is a skill. Compassion is a skill. Communication as well as consideration for another person is a skill. I believe we learn all social skills in our childhood, and often, that’s where the problem starts, however, each individual has a choice whether they want to develop or stay the same. Being able to learn and grow comes with the craving to evolve as well as a deep hunger for truth. Most people are just too comfortable in their Me-Me-Me-Existance plus they fear the truth instead of craving it. Nobody thinks they are the villain. This comes from a lack of self-awareness and the lack of pain through living in denial and delusion. Once I realized that it is for most people enough to just say things, promise things without actually doing them I stopped being hurt by their lack of actions. Often, dreaming about it to them is like they’ve done it already. It feels safer and takes less effort plus the dream is usually better than reality. However, it’s just a dream, and ultimately, they miss out on life. But it’s their life not mine that’s wasted.

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WHEN THE STRIP CLUB TALKS ABOUT LOVE

Posted in Jones' wisdom with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2015 by tiltdiary

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We talked about love and relationships, and I told her what I had discovered over my life time, “Love never really works out. Just like in every movie right before the end, the villain will defeat the superhero, and everybody anxiously hopes the superhero will once more collect all of her/his strength to get up and give it one last try to beat the enemy.  It’s one battle after the other, always compromise, always defeat … I am a fallen superhero. And to be honest, I don’t know if I want to get up once more to battle fear, mediocrecy, and darkness. True love, passion, and magic do have the potential to beat fear and darkness, but too many battles have been lost.” What came out of the 26 years young dancer’s mouth really made me think. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “So, Jones, what are you going to do? Lost many battles, huh? But are you willing to lose the war?” I was stunned. I always believed God sends you answers in the strip club, through dancers, customers, often, when they are intoxicated and don’t really know what they are saying … that’s what makes them susceptible to become a universal truth speaker … sometimes, the simplest person will solve the biggest question about life you have because they are guided by divine intuition to speak the truth.

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GIVING FAITH A CHANCE AT THE STRIP CLUB

Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2015 by tiltdiary

We had already said good-bye to each other over 45 minutes ago. It was getting late, and I was looking forward for my shift to end as I saw Dustin walk back into the club looking for me. I walked up to him, and he asked me to sit down with him, as he explained, “I was already half way home as I decided to turn my car around. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I just wanted to give you my card. That is the honest to God’s truth. I just want to make sure I have done everything possible to see you again. The odds that you will call me are small, I understand that, but I just had to try and give it my all so I wouldn’t regret later.”

I have so much respect for a man who realizes that we live now, a man who understands we need to give our best,  take a chance, put yourself out there, and avoid the “should’ve could’ve done.” It’s really the secret to a happy life, I believe. Following your heart, take action, and never let laziness, excuses, tomorrow, or fear get in your way.

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YOU TOO CAN FLY

Posted in Jones' wisdom with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2014 by tiltdiary

lomob-2 (19)The ability to fly, physically and mentally, begins with the willingness to try the seemingly impossible, and allow fear and doubt to evaporate like steam from a boiling water pot. Anything is possible any time.

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MOST PRECIOUS LOVER

Posted in Jones' Poems with tags , , , , , , on August 5, 2014 by tiltdiary

The thick air rushes through my veins

Making me think of all the games

Another part I buried of me

Under your indecision, fear, guilt, and dishonesty

From here on I will travel alone

And make you wonder why I am gone

Years and years and love flew by

Making my heart bleed and my eyes cry

When all the blood is drained and all the tears are gone

Then the heart morphs into stone

That is when you will discover

 I was your most precious lover

But it’s already too late

Don’t rely on fate

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STRIPPER VENT ABOUT THE AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEM

Posted in Jones' wisdom with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2014 by tiltdiary

I hear it from parents all the time, yes, customers talk about their kids and what happens in schools. Not just kids bullying kids. The teachers seem to be the real bullies. If a kid doesn’t fit the norm, is more sensitive, or learns differently then teachers recommend medicating or removing the child from that particular school. Society expects children to fit a format, develop in a certain time frame, and accomplish physics, math, geography, and so on in a certain way. But nobody teaches our children how to deal with fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, anxiety, love, happiness. I guess, because most adults don’t know how to because nobody taught them when they were kids. The only way they seem to be able to handle it is by pushing it away, making it disappear, or numbing it with Ritalin.

Of all the things you learned in school, how much do you actually really use in your adult life? Wouldn’t you have been better off if someone would have taught you how to cope with feelings that seem overwhelming and cause your life to be painful? It’s time to come up with a class called “Emotions,” where kids can learn how to be who they really are accepting all their feelings and learning how to channel them. Question is who is capable of teaching it?

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