Cannot sleep
I can hear my painful back shriek
My heart is heavy like lead
I wish I would’ve fled
But there’s no escape from your own skin
You cannot race against yourself and win
Instead you have to endure the terror
When you look in the mirror
Unable to change what is wrong
No matter how innocent you long
You wonder how people sleep with all their guilt
I pull over my head the colorful quilt
To keep me warm or to suffocate my mind
Understanding it’s a waste of time to be kind
I want to drown in my pillow cover
There’s no place for a man lover
My head is ready to burst
I am dying from thirst
For truth and authenticity
But all I see is lack of intimacy
People unable to feel and express
Passion is what they crave yet suppress
It takes courage and skill
To resist the urge to numb yourself with a pill
That’s why they want to attach to me like a leach
But I am not continuing to carry their breach
I command my eyelids to close
And cuddle up to the coonhound nose
I make peace for tonight to be alone with my opinion
And surrender to my little dominion

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