Archive for August 8, 2017


Posted in Customers with tags , , , , , , on August 8, 2017 by tiltdiary

I see a scraggly, thin, mosquito man with greasy, curly hair ordering a drink at the bar. I know instinctively I should not miss talking to him before my shift ends in about less than 15 minutes. So I introduce myself to this fella and see what he has to say. He’s a chatty one. But chatty in the way that I can tell he has learned what to say in order to masque his social ineptness. He’s definitely ass burgers (this is not a typo, I truly wrote ass burgers and mean it, and I might later define this type to you in detail)! He immediately tries to establish himself as an important man in the film and TV industry. He says with a strange twitch in his neck and a repulsive arrogance in his squeaky voice, “I work in film and television.” I know just by the way he dresses and smells that this is true, but he’s probably a messenger, although, this is probably pushing it — don’t know if he will be able to drive around town and find different locations to deliver to without getting lost. He’s more likely a “personal assistant” to some studio executive, as in picking up coffee at the same coffee house on a daily basis and making copies and shredding documents … He wants to talk and tells me right away more about himself, “I am also a photographer.” I can smell an obsession about fantasizing to take photographs of naked girls. I don’t think this guy actually ever got to the point where he could live out his fantasy. Who would pose for him? I can sense how he is an awful photographer, but I want to be encouraging and stay polite, “That’s wonderful.” Time is running out, it’s already last call for alcohol. And I need to ask this guy if he wants to do a lap dance. I am 100% sure he’s way too cheap to spend $20 but I want to see where this goes. He asks me, “When are you up on stage?” Note, he has not tipped any of the dancers who have danced so far, but he is stalking each and every move they have made. I use the opportunity to offer him a private dance, “I might not be up anymore, but I could always dance for you privately. Would you like a private dance?” Him, “Maybe, but I like to build up to it.” Me very factual, “Unfortunately, there’s not much time left to build up to it. My shift is almost over.” He’s excited, “Well. I live close by, and I will come in more often now to chat. And I told you I love to take photos and videos. I could shoot you!” And he winks at me thinking he comes across very sexy and irresistible. My respond to Mr. BuildUp is very simple, ” Oh, that is wonderful, what an opportunity. I love being on camera, but I like to build up to that.” And I wink at him. His face drops as he realizes that I just turned his own bullshit against himself.

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