ENABLING OR BEING A CATALYST FOR CHANGE?

She said to me, “When my daughter gets married and has to deal with a bad husband I will help her to cope with it.” I couldn’t help but reply, “I don’t know if you should help your daughter cope with abuse in case she steps into your footsteps and marries a man who cannot be a good partner. You cannot save her the suffering. But helping her cope with it might rather prolong her suffering. You can be there for her, but supporting someone in their suffering sounds rather strange.”
We cannot spare someone their own lessons. Being someone’s enabler is a very different thing than being there for someone when they go through painful realizations and change.

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