WHAT TO DO IF YOU FORGOT VALENTINE’S DAY

I hate to break it to you, but if you forgot to wish her a happy Valentine’s Day, you are in the dog house — even if she says she doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day, and it doesn’t mean anything to her. But if you forgot, she will resent you for it, and you will have to work your way out. You will need to pull out all the stops: flowers, chocolate (yes, all this wasteful stuff we strippers don’t want!), jewelry, generous spa certificate, dinner and a foot massage afterwards without expecting anything in return. Further more, you will need to clean the house, do the dishes, scrub the garage with a toothbrush, landscape the yard, wash her car, take the kids to school and pick em up. To be honest, you will be in debt for the rest of your life, so just don’t do it ever again. Either way, you are fucked, because if you didn’t forget Valentine’s Day most likely the gift wasn’t right or valuable enough.
And you think strippers are gold diggers …

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