Two young, good looking guys come into the club. It’s about 1:30 am and my shift is almost over. I can see they are all pumped up and ready to party. When I walk up to them they tell me they just landed coming from New York to spend time in LA for fun. They are surprised to see us dancer not take all of our clothes off on stage. Dan tells me, “In New York, the girls are nude and we can drink.” Me, “That’s great. This is a bikini bar.” His friend Russ, “So where do you guys do the lap dances.” Me, “Behind the curtain.” Dan again, “You don’t have private rooms?” Me, “No, we don’t.” They seem disappointed. As a girl goes on stage Dan pulls out his wallet and digs in it for ages. Then he puts a single dollar bill on stage. His friend Russ, “I feel bad, nobody is making money.” I am thinking, definitely we are not making money if everybody would be as cheap as these two guys are. Then Russ spills the beans as he secretly leans in, “When we go to our club the girls make thousands of dollars. Why don’t you work at a club like that?” Me, “I’d rather make less money being a dancer and not a prostitute. The girls at that club you are talking about are prostitutes and everything goes.” Him with a happy smirk on his face, “Not all of them are prostitutes.” Me, “Not that I am against prostitution but it’s not for me. At your club you can get more than just a lap dance or blow job. You can get an STD too. I know you only do dances with clean girls. But I hate to break it to you, viruses and bacteria are very clean and picky about their host. ” I can see his face drop in shock reliving all the blow jobs he got from the girls at his club wondering if he took more than just physical relief away. Me as I tap his shoulder, “And this lesson on health and wellness was entirely free. After all, you got something else at an LA strip club you never expected: an important educational session on how to avoid free bonuses when visiting a New York strip club.”

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