Who gets the married men into the strip club? Why do they come here? OK, let’s say it is voyeurism. We all know men like to look at women. I even believe women like to look at women. The female form is mesmerizing, no doubt. But why do the married men come to the strip club when they could look at girls online for free? Why do they make this extra step? Because they want to talk?! But, what makes a married man go a step further and do that lap dance with his favorite girl?
I believe the problem lies within the expectations and definition of a “happy” relationship and marriage. Most married men I meet are convinced they are happily married. Or at least they repeat that several times a night in order to convince themselves they are. Yet, why are they here then? Why are they melting away during a lap dance. Why are they saying, “Well, if I wouldn’t be happily married, I don’t know what would happen with us.” Of course, this is a lot of fantasy talk but to be honest, if I would be “happily” married, yet, go to a male strip club to buy lap dances with my favorite performer I would question my happily married very much so. And, if I would be “happily” married and find out my husband goes to a strip club to get lap dances there I would be sad and wonder why he doesn’t want these lap dances from me.
The problem lies in the definition of “happily” married. The men are trained and brain washed to think that a good married means a wife who takes care of the kids, goes on vacation with you, takes the kids to school and attends PTA meetings, make sure the maid, gardener, and pool boy show up on time, and supports the husband’s career allowing him to put in extra hours to bring home an extra fat bonus. Is that happily married? Is that how low the expectation have sunk?
In my world happily married means when you cannot wait for your spouse to come home to tear his clothes off, have a romantic dinner together, enjoy sunsets together, have meaningful conversation where each partner listens and cares, a partner who wants to make your life better every day because you make his life better every day. To me happily married would mean adventure, passionate sex, when you cannot get enough of each other. But maybe my standards are too high. Maybe my happily married is just fantasy talk as well and in reality it doesn’t exist or cannot be maintained because life is about getting somewhere, buying things, and accomplishing stuff.
So, how do I answer the question who gets the married men into the strip club? I don’t really know the answer to that question. But one thing I do know. The married men don’t know any of us girls when they step into the strip club for the first time. The married men choose to come without invitation. The married men volunteer to be there and often come back repeatedly. They come because something important must be missing in their “happily” married life, in their relationships, in their heart.

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