Do you remember that prickly feeling when you just met. How your skin would blush, and you would feel butterflies in your tummy, you couldn’t think about anything else but her/him. You were inflamed, wild, bothered, you couldn’t spend enough time with your new love. Your first kiss, how sweet the lips tasted, how magical that touch was, the scent of your lover driving you wild … and it worked out for you guys. You moved in together, maybe you got married, even had kids, you built a life together, a successful life. But maybe, most likely, during the successful life journey the butterflies were squished, the prickly feeling was replaced by morning sickness or the cold one at the end of the day, your skin would blush from anger about your partner being a slob or not listening to you, not hearing you, and the magical scent was drowned in diapers, lack of showers due to being too tired, overwhelmed at work, unhappy at work or with your life calling, or just laziness. You have blamed life for losing that chemistry you once had with your partner. You will even blame your kids, their school, the parent- teacher meeting, the camping trip, the pregnancy, your depression … you will find someone to blame for the loss of your passion for your partner. So you might attempt to go to marital counseling. They will tell you lack of communication and scheduling issues are the problem, and they will assist you in finding a solution. But let me tell you Jones’ little secret: you are still not going to ever want to fuck your partner’s brain out again. Even if you ship your kids off to Alaska, and it’s just you and your spouse with the old dog, and you have the house to yourself for a month. Nothing is going to happen. Maybe pity sex, after all, you’re paying for therapy to make it happen again. But the chemistry, the passion … no where near in sigh. Maybe it’s menopause, midlife crises … did you know now they discovered that men go through something similar like menopause? So you both are going through hormonal changes … well there’s hormone replacement therapy and Viagra. Modern medicine will have a quick fix for you. But the passion, the chemistry you vaguely remember … you wonder if it was a dream. Maybe you made it up. No, you didn’t. It was there. Mrs. Chemistry and Mr. Passion were there. But you let them get away. And trust me, once gone, it’s never going to be found again. The trick is to never let it go, forget about it, or take it for granted. What kills them is laziness, excuses, and comfort zone, so comfortable that you don’t close the bathroom door when you take a dump, and so comfortable that you are not shy at all to blow a big, stinky fart in front of your partner, so comfortable that your partner will see you snot and barf when you are sick, so comfortable that you want to share every minute with your partner even in the labor room. Don’t do it, I beg you, don’t get too comfortable. Stay alert, stay lady like, and be a gentleman no matter how long you are married. Don’t let passion and chemistry be suffocated by comfort and laziness. Because Chemistry once gone can never be restored.

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