HOW TO GET A STRIPPER INTO BED

Offer to serve her an exotic drink at your house. Once she’s at your house she won’t be able to resist your charm, manly scent, and man tool. You can also offer her to stay over because you have a water bed. She will jump on that opportunity to spend the night in a real water bed. Because how many people who are not stuck in the 70s still have a water beds. You can also bait her with gourmet food. Remember, a shift at the strip club is physically demanding, and she will be hungry when she gets off. Another good reason for her to come over to your house is if you brag about your sexual skills and how you will send her to the moon. She will most likely invite herself over if you can include a little sexy hip thrust and wink. If you feel she’s a little hesitant, offer to pay for her taxi in the morning so she can get safely home. A ride in your Porsche will do as well as a date on a boat. Strippers like to be rocked by waves or be stuck in traffic in an expensive sports car. Drugs work well too. Just provide her with a variety of choices at your house, and it should be a piece of cake to proceed from there. Just be creative. Offer her something she desperately wants: a spray tan, a manicure or pedicure, a little massage, a Brazilian waxing, a makeover, or just a haircut. Hot tubs. Everyone loves hot tubs. If you have one at your house or apartment complex invite her over for a dip in your hot tub but don’t forget to tell her no clothes allowed ;-). The list is endless. Be intuitive and find out what she likes and desires the most.

In my case, the most assured way to get me into bed is by giving me a stomach virus or influenza.

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