WHEN A STRIPPER BITES HER TONGUE

I watch the somehow unattractive, bald, heavy set man who is sitting at the bar with his eyes sheepishly gazing towards the stage checking out every girl’s moves. You can tell he doesn’t want people to see he is watching. But it’s still obvious he’s a voyeur, and clearly visits the club to get his fix. When I walk up to him he’s fairly unfriendly and almost rude after I introduce myself politely, “Hi, I am Jones. How is it going?” Him, “I am just here to drink a beer.” Me, “What’s your name?” He says almost reluctantly and bothered, “I am Dietrich.” I ask him if he’s German due to the German man. When he realizes I am not entirely stupid — he probably thinks all strippers are stupid — he is more willing to engage into conversation with me. But you can tell there is some type of guilt attached in his demeanor. I don’t see a wedding ring so I am curious to find out what his deal his, and sure enough he blurs it out sooner than later when he repeats, “I am just here to grab a beer.” A comment like this usually means, “Hey, I am a cheap motherfucker, and I came here to see free tits and ass but I won’t spend a dime on any of the girls who work their asses off on stage, nor will I do a lap dance with you.” I ask him politely, ” Do you frequently go to strip clubs?” He answers with a touch of entitlement in his voice, “Yes, I do, but I don’t do lap dances.” Me, “Oh, is that right? How come?” Him, “They are frustrating. They are either bad or too good. So either way I end up at home frustrated. I will be going home tonight to sleep.” Ewwwww, his last sentence sounded almost as if I was asking him to make me an offer to go home with him to have sex with him. Yeck. He’s a despicable man, but as a classy stripper, I just nod my head and excuse myself. You cannot tell me that any man comes to the strip club to just grab a beer. That’s bullshit. Why doesn’t he then just go to his next door neighborhood bar to grab a cold one. Excuses like that are rude and a lie. But I know better and bite my tongue with any of the JustHereToGrabABeer douche bags.

This type of customer is not an exception. In fact, we strippers come across this customer type very often. Strip club etiquette is more and more doomed. I don’t know whether it has to do with the availability of so much free stuff that’s online for people to watch and get their excitement and even sexual fix, or if it’s through loss of social skills and decreasing communication that people lose respect more and more for other people. Or maybe it is just through increasing selfishness and idiocracy that people’s rudeness stands out more and more. People want a free ride, and I wish, we could tell them that they are not welcome here, but of course, management wouldn’t like that at all. Unfortunately, we cannot send the cheap voyeurs home. But they are nothing else but a waste of our energy and time and not welcome to our world of stripping. Tipping the girls on stage should be mandatory for anybody who visits a strip club.

Jonesing for more? http://www.amazon.com/dp/1257802860/ref=dra_a_rv_ss_ho_it_P1400_1000?tag=dradis-20

Or watch http://vimeo.com/5974973

Or click on https://www.amazon.com/author/aajones

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