URGENT LOVE

Love is one of the things in life that is mostly taken for granted. Love is most often postponed to the next day, next week, next month. Because love seems so secure and stable we don’t nourish it since love always comes in abundance. You either love fully or you don’t. We always find other things that are more pressing than taking care of our loved ones. We are too tired to play ball with our dog who loves and adores us unconditionally. We forget or are too lazy to stick a love note in the mail for our long distance partner because we think we will see them soon anyways. We are too tired to go out of our way to drive an extra hour to see our parents who love us dearly. It is too hot outside to cook a lovely meal for our partner at home so we decide to get cheap take out and eat out of paper boxes. Hell, we even don’t think a quick “Hello” send via text will make a difference today, so maybe, if we don’t forget, we will send it tomorrow. There is always a good reason for postponing love, especially since love comes with uncomfortable commitment, and we are tired, exhausted, busy, distracted, afraid the other person will ask more if we give a little, afraid of rejection, plus we have to catch up on sleep, and take care of the people who don’t love us, actually, the ones that are mean to us trying to get them to change their minds to at least like us a little — like our disgruntled boss and bullying friend.

The problem with love is that we do not put any urgency on it. We think love is going to be always there … we take love for granted and forget to appreciate the fact that we have it in our lives. Love is neglected, ignored, often we are even annoyed by it … found yourself annoyed by the push of your dogs nose asking for affection while you were surfing the internet or chatting with some online date (a stranger really), by the cat that rubbed against you purring to wake you ten minutes earlier in the hope it could get some cuddle time,  and by your lover sending you too many text on a daily basis? You didn’t have time, right? You were too busy, too tired to get up a little earlier to take care of love? Did the new things you were curious about, the new people you had to meet, and the fact, that you had to make more money keep you away from good old love? Or that boring office job took it out of you so you couldn’t find the energy to love today? You couldn’t set the alarm an hour earlier to make love? Or squeeze in a quick lunch date with a man that was crazy for you? Or a coffee break with a girl who would give you the world because your meeting at work took all your time?

The problem with love is that most people do not put any urgency behind it. That’s when it turns tragic. Love can fade away when neglected for too many years, love can die — I myself lost many loved ones luckily with no regrets about what I could’ve should’ve done (they died in my arms but their physical body is still gone, and I cannot hold them anymore). Something in me always has the clock ticking for love. That’s why I am writing this blog post today. Don’t take love for granted. Even if you don’t love back — most likely your dog loves you more than you love your dog — cherish love. Any time, all the time. And be aware, if you want to keep love alive make it urgent. Every day. Put some effort in it. Throw the ball not just once. Send the flowers. Cook the meal. Write the poem, although, you suck at writing poems. Just let love live and breathe otherwise the loss of love might haunt you forever or even worse, suffocate you in the end. And remember, what my mother used to say, “You can sleep when you are dead.”

The simple realization that love won’t stay forever, that it’s limited in this physical body, and that it cannot be brought back once it moves on, can change your life and actions forever. Put some urgency behind love, start nurturing it, and cherish it. Don’t put love last on your schedule. Put it first.

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