You rarely meet a man in his 40s that has never visited a strip club. But on that slow night at the club I got to meet one of those rare men who truly have never been to a strip club before. When I walked up to him shortly after he had ordered his drink he was shy but still open to talk. An out-of-tower visiting LA on business, and he had googled “music” and “bar” which had directed him to my club. We do have good music and drinks here. But he didn’t really know what it meant to have dancers here. He admitted, “I have never been to a strip club before.” I asked him, “You also never had a lap dance?” He said, “Never, I don’t know what that is.” I explained that it was a private dance, showed him where they are given, and explained to him that if he liked a girl he could tip her on stage. As I took the stage, he sat at the front and followed my direction tipping me. When I stepped off stage he said to me, “You know, I mean you are very attractive, and of course, I cannot not look at you. But it’s really weird to look at you like this. I just met you.”

The gentleman was right. We just met, yet, most men think it’s the ideal set up for intimacy, and they even hope for sex. I wonder if porn has anything to do with it. In porn there are always the most bizarre scenarios, and people hook up instantly. Like they are in the bowling alley, and they bump into each other, and then ups three seconds later they are going down on each other. It’s all about instant gratification, getting it on as fast as possible, and the focus is on physical relief. Yet, a social connection can never be made because things are just going too fast.

The gentleman is right. The strip club is a bizarre establishment. But it fits this time and age and has changed over time. It has changed a lot.

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