When I started working at my club many years ago, the club bully had set an eye on me right away. I was a big thorn in her eye, and she started scheming against me the minute she saw me. She would spread rumor about my boobs being fake, attacked me physically in the dressing room where nobody could witness it so she was safe from being fired, tried to bad mouth me in front of customer, she even once teamed up with another hater dancer and they tried to distract one of my regulars, but it backfired, and my customer recognized their little charade and tipped me double, plus the other hater girl accidently broke one of the chair’s legs she sat on and hit her head on a table behind her while trying to distract my customer at the front railing. After about a year of trying to destroy my reputation and trying to get me to move on to the next club the bully finally gave up, and she acted like I was her best friend sharing intimate relationship and health stories of hers with me. I had instinctively disarmed her. Just like a dog that misbehaves, instead of fighting with her or trying to make her my friend, I had just ignored her. I wouldn’t acknowledge any stories she would tell in the dressing room to get everybody’s attention and approval, I wouldn’t help with advice on costuming even if she asked me directly, I wouldn’t say good-bye or hello to her. Thinking back, she really didn’t exists for me except that I did watch my back, to protect myself from physically being harmed. I am stronger and way more athletic than her, so only an ambush could’ve been dangerous for me, so I stayed alert, yet, never gave her meaning, pretended like I didn’t hear her nor understoond her language, and even acted like I didn’t see her. She was none-existent to me, not even a nuisance, but occasionally I couldn’t help but laughing at her desperation trying to take me down while making the biggest idiot out of herself. Looking back at it, I realize the club once more taught me an important lesson about life: how to deal with negativity and bullies in general. Bullies exist everywhere. In your family, in school, in college, in your work place, and so on.

Often, people that are being bullied cannot stop talking about the injustice and hurt that they experience because of the bully. Parents will talk with their children for hours about the bully and plans are being hatched how to get a bully off your back. But all this energy and scheming against a bully will give this person exactly what they want: attention and empowerment. Bullies are really insecure puffed up little losers that have discovered that by making a lot of noise they can cause a lot of negative commotion. It’s time to teach the bullies a lesson by ignoring them and acting like they don’t exist. Don’t let a bully spoil your fun. Because bullies are really just blowing smoke. Watch your back and ignore the bully to your best ability. Your bully will get eventually get bored and move on to the next victim.

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