Statistics show that men and women in long term relationships cheat at the same rate. They say women cheat for other reasons then men. But I don’t quiet agree with that. An affair happens when the signs of emotional disconnect have been ignored by both parties for too long. I also think we women change much faster and drastically then men do. That fact is linked alone to the biological changes we go through. We are nothing in our 30s that we were in our 20s. And wait till the 40s hit … We reach our sexual peek much later than men. That means we are much wiser and secure at outr peek and more connected to our needs. And things continue to change. I think that causes often the biggest dilemma. Many men tell me, “I don’t even know who my wife is anymore.” The woman has evolved and established her sexual desires and needs, and those desires might be far off from what they were when they met their partner. Men often try to justify, “But we discussed this before we got married. She knows how I am wired.” It’s the same way when a couple agreed when they married in their 20s that they both never wanted to have children, but guess what … the woman might change her mind. Things change, no matter how solid you set them in stone. You never know what life throws you and which path you are going to take. You cannot secure any relationship by signing paperwork or by agreeing on desires and preferences in regards to your sexuality and emotional being. All you can try to do is evolve with your partner hoping you rather grow together than apart. Yet, be prepared, it takes an open mind, lots of patience, and most importantly the willingness to leave rusty, old, outdated ideas behind along with your ego and the false impression that you have figured it all out.

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